Don't Stop Believin'!

I think I give up too easily.  Not always, and not on everything.  Mostly just on eating right.
21 day cleanse?
After about 5 days, I realized that H and I can't afford to eat Paleo right now because it's just too expensive to keep lots of meat and veggies in a house where 2 people eat 5-6 times a day.  Our budget was crying when I tried to figure out how to afford good groceries.
Walls like this really bum me out.

So it's now almost 2 weeks before the "big day" and I'm not at my goal weight/body type.  I'm not even close.  I wish I could blame it all on not having money for groceries (Um, have you noticed how processed foods are a million times cheaper than healthy foods? What's up with that?!) but I have to admit that I've been unmotivated for getting my butt to the gym lately.  With H's new night-shift work schedule, I have a hard time sleeping alone in the house, which means I'm exhausted by the time 7am rolls around and end up sleeping in for a couple extra hours instead of putting on my running shoes.  Yes, I'm lazy.  I suck.  Moving on.

Thankfully, even if we can't eat strict Paleo, we can eat following The Abs Diet.  Pre-Paleo, we were eating following TAD and it worked very well for us.  In fact, the only reason we switched to Paleo is because H wanted to eat even cleaner than we already were.  TAD is very similar to Paleo, except it allows for low-fat dairy, whole grains, and other healthy carbs in moderation.  So for the past couple weeks, we've been following TAD more than Paleo.  H first turned me on TAD when we first got together about 4 years ago, and he had already been following TAD for about a year.  He had the books about it, which I read, and it makes sense.

If you want a healthy and in-shape body, you have to put good and healthy things into it.  Bad things = bad body.  Duh.  Seems simple.  I'm not going to lie--it's nice to have whole grains and low-fat dairy again.  Don't get me wrong; we aren't going crazy with it and having oatmeal, bread, potatoes, and cheese at every meal.  But we're not afraid to have a little cheese on our salads, brown rice with our stirfry, or a small bowl of oatmeal in the morning. 

I've also started keeping track of everything I eat.  This is something I haven't done in about 5 years, when I lost a bunch of weight back then.  It really keeps me focused when I see exactly how much I've eaten throughout the day and it makes me second guess eating that handful of pretzels or ordering dinner in instead of making it myself.  Today, I planned out all of my meals and stuck to them.  I almost gave in and hit up a drive through because I've got a bad cold and didn't feel like making anything to eat, but instead I went home and stuck to the plan.  And now, after having stuck to my eating/meal plans all day, I feel so good!!  I"m so proud of myself for not giving up and for staying strong. 

I believe that I can do this.
I believe that by the time I move back to my parents' house in June (after H leaves for OSUT) I will be down to my goal weight.
I believe that once I'm at my parents' house, I won't start eating unhealthy and I won't stop working out.
I believe in myself.
I believe in my goals.

Confessions

I have a few confessions to make...  ::deep breath::  Okay here goes (and no judging, please)

H and I have fallen off the Paleo/Crossfit wagon.
I have gained 5 pounds back.


There.  I said it.  It's been awful keeping this inside, and it feels so good to finally say it.  Guh.  It has been such a hard month (Yes, a month.  I know...remember, I said NO judging!).  We have had people here constantly.  No, seriously.  I'm not using hyperbole (Don't know what that means?  Hmmm sounds like someone didn't pay attention in English class.  Go get the dictionary.  I'll wait.  No I promise, I'll wait right here.

...waiting...

Figured out that it means "extreme exaggeration"?  Good.  Let's continue.) Between our best friends coming up from home to spend the weekend, my sister and her boyfriend coming up for a weekend, our friends moving back into town for the school year to start, me starting a new job, H helping his fraternity during recruitment (which was 2 solid weeks) and me helping my sorority during recruitment (which was over 1 solid week), plus having our best friend come to town and then going home for a wedding, we have had so many days with non-Paleo people around and having to grab food on the run that Paleo went out the window.  Ugh. 

I hate it.  I hate not feeling skinny.  I hate not eating healthy and feeling guilty after the bad meals.  I hate feeling sluggish because I'm putting crap into my body instead of healthy fuel.  No bueno.

Today, H and I finally had a day of nothing.  I mean literally we had nothing to do.  No where to go.  No one visiting or coming over.  No errands to run or chores to do.  We legitimately sat and watched season 5 of Dexter (Go. Rent it. Now.) and had the chance to eat Paleo ALL DAY.  No one coming over to offer getting pizza or fast food, or having special food needs that don't involve steamed broccoli and grilled chicken.  We had eggs and bacon for breakfast, slow roasted turkey and broccoli for lunch, and seasoned chicken and salad for dinner. 

I feel so good! It's been so long since we've had a full day of Paleo, and I forgot how good it feels at the end of the night.  I'm so thankful that we can finally get back on track and I can drop these 5lbs!  I have a wedding dress fitting in 3 weeks, and I'd like to have at least those 5lbs off (preferably more like 10lbs...)

Tomorrow we head back into the gym and I couldn't be more excited!
So yes, I confess that we've been off the wagon and haven't been eating/Crossfitting like we should.  But ya know what?  We're not letting this side-tracked month discourage us or make us give up.  Instead, we're letting it be a reminder of how easily we can get distracted from our goals and give us more reason to stay focused on what we want.  Woot woot being back on track!

xoxo, M